Insert Generic Tiger Headline Here

I'm not as witty as those other writers who give you all those catchy headlines so excuse the header. After months of silence, Tiger Woods will finally appease the masses by reading a statement tomorrow at 11:00 AM EST, in what should be a media spectacle. He will not take questions, he will simply read a statement to selected media, in front of 1 camera, while other media members wait in a hotel conference room watching. The public is eagerly awaiting this as well as I. While the general populous wants him to be contrite, I want him to remain himself, an egotistical, self serving jerk who hid behind the word "addiction" to justify his "wrongdoings." But does your opinion of him really hinge on what he says tomorrow? Here's why mines won't.

For the record, I'm not a moralist, nor do I need Woods to be one. I've said this before, do you really care if the butcher who slices your meat or the guy changing the oil in your car sleeps around on his wife? This is why I don't think Tiger owes any one of us an explanation & I truthfully, do you want one if it's going to be full of crap? Well get ready, because that's what you should expect in tomorrow's presser. In fact, I say pay more attention to his surroundings because that might be more interesting than what he says. What I want to hear from the media personnel who were deemed worthy enough to breathe the same air as him, are answers to the following questions:

• Who will be next to him? Elin Nordegren Woods, the hotel maid he'll undoubtedly slept with prior to the conference or his agent?
• Will he be wearing his wedding ring?
• Will he cry?

Those are the only answers I need. His testimonial is inconsequential because he'll read a standard, non specific & prepared speech where he won't directly admit to any affairs. It will be carefully worded & worse of all, no one in the media can question & test the veracity of his statement.

I am absolutely in love with the fact Tiger Woods did this during the Accenture Match Play, being that Accenture was one of the sponsors that dropped him. Because as opposed to the majority of the world, I'm ok with Tiger being a self absorbed asshole. & tomorrow, I hope we get more of that Tiger. I don't want to see him humble himself because in all reality, I gain nothing from it & neither do you. All these media guys like Rick Reilly saying he has to win women back is NONSENSE. He only has to win 1 woman back & that's Elin & that's if he cares enough to do so. If you are a woman, does Tiger really need to win you back? Why does he have to? His vows were to his wife, not to any of us. You are still going to watch him, listen to him, & idolize him for his play. So your opinion on a Golfer shouldn't change based on what he says. If it does, you really need to look in the mirror at your own hypocrisy.