Alex Rodriguez's Dimise Greatly Exaggerated

I really couldn't wait to write this article when all the negative steroid news came out about Alex Rodriguez at the beginning of the year. First I'd like to thank Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson, Selena Roberts, & the NY Yankees for making this so easy to write & stick it to all the A-Rod haters. Coming off his most accomplished season ever, clearly all the Rodriguez haters are FOREVER SILENCED!!!

In February, many expected Rodriguez to collapse under the immense pressure of the steroid controversy. Selena Roberts published a book & printed 150,000 copies (only sold 16,000), he was going through a divorce, & a June slump where pitchers went right after him with fastballs. As always, questions persisted on how Alex would do in the post season. But a funny thing happened on the road to oblivion. From the first pitch he saw this season, Alex started hitting in pressure situations early & late. Another 30 HR & 100 RBI season, after missing 6 weeks. He even produced in the post season, while carrying NY into the World Series, & exercising all the demons of post seasons past by winning a championship. Personal accolades aside, Alex made his team better immediately upon his return. Before Rodriguez's triumphant return to the Yankee lineup, New York was 13-15. After May 8, the Yankees won 2 out of every 3 games the rest of the season. That is what we call, IMPACT!!!

"But wait!!!" said the detractors. "Let's see in the postseason...he'll CHOKE!!!" The very thought that Rodriguez would NEVER hit in the post season was beyond ludicrous. Alex is simply too talented to NOT hit. Alex owned pitching through the first 2 rounds going 14-32, 5 HR, & an RBI in every game for the exception of 1 (Game 5 ALCS). Then, in the midst of "he took steroids" chant in Philadelphia (how quickly Philly fans forget about David Bell), Alex simply continued the timely hitting. Game 3, a HR opposite field off the camera, an RBI double in the 9th in Game 4 to put NY ahead, & 3 more RBI in the Game 5 loss, that kept NY in the game. Alex Rodriguez tallied a Yankee record 18 RBI during the 2009 post season...cut straight to the Yankee-o-graphy folks, this is how legends are made, nothing else needs to be said.

But for you haters scoring Alex at home:

Fame...CHECK!!!
Looks...CHECK!!!
Money...CHECK!!!
Hot Girlfriend...CHECK!!!
Your Girlfriend's Approval...CHECK!!!
Championship...OH YEAH...CHECKMATE!!!

You're O for everything, he's 6 for 6...